he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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