I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
