The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
