i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
