Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
