i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
