i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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