I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
