Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
