Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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