Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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