i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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