I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
