I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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