i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
