Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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