all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
