How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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