By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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