Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize