I CAN MOONWALK!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
