How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
