just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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