I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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