Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
