Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
