i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I haven't been this sober since birth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize