Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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