I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize