What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize