im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
