I am spending my child support on dildos
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
