dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
