These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
