she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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