nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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