We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
