none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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