can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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