There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize