mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
