just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
