Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
