Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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