i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
