So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
