why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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