took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
