i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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