I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i now understand why vodka
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize