North Korea, Best Korea!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
