You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
