my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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