we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
