It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
