you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
