break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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