Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize