i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
