my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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