no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
