is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize