he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize