Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
