I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
