Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
