She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
