i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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