Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Let's paint friendship bongs
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize