My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
