He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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