If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
