I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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